Dear John,
just so you know I hate you!
this song I dedicate to you
Long were the nights when
My days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps
Praying the floor won’t fall through, again
My mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight
Well I stopped pickin’ up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home, I should've known.
Well maybe it’s me
And my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it’s you and your sick need
To give love and take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said
'Run as fast as you can’
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young
To be played by your dark, twisted games
When I loved you so, I should've known.
You are an expert at sorry
And keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you run dry have tired lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches
Before fire could catch me
So don’t look now
I’m shining like fireworks
Over your sad empty town
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Wrote you a song, you should’ve known.
You should’ve known
Don’t you think I was too young
You should’ve known.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Tim Burton
I'm a huge Tim Burton Fan. I know when a movie comes out that he either produced, wrote, help wrote, or directed it's going to be good so I thought I would post some of his quotes..
“Movies are like an expensive form of therapy for me.”
Tim Burton
“I've always been more comfortable making my decisions from the subconscious level, or more emotionally, because I find it is more truthful to me, Intellectually, I don't think like that because I get uncomfortable. I'm more wary of my intellectual mind, of becoming delusional if I think of it too much.”
Tim Burton
“We all know interspecies romance is weird.”
Tim Burton
“People told me I couldn't kill Nicholson, so I cast him in two roles and killed him off twice.”
Tim Burton
“You don't know whether chimps are going to kill you or kiss you. They're very open on some levels and much more evil in a certain way.”
Tim Burton
“Jack Nicholson is a textbook actor who's very intuitive. He is absolutely brilliant at going as far as you can go, always pushing to the edge, but still making it seem real.”
Tim Burton
“One person's crazyness is another person's reality.”
Tim Burton
"People might say 'oh its too dark and scary' for children but you could say that about 'Nightmare before Christmas' also. People say their dog even liked watching 'Nightmare Before Christmas'. So this is for animals, children, whoever.”
Tim Burton
“Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But, that would be called canibalism. It is looked down upon in most societies.”
― Tim Burton, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“I am the shadow on the moon at night/Filling your dreams to the brim with fright.”
― Tim Burton
“But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets too close to her,
the pins stick further in.”
― Tim Burton
“Son, are you happy?
I don't mean to pry,
but do you dream of Heaven?
Have you ever wanted to die?”
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Half the fun is plan to plan”
― Tim Burton
“Staring Girl
I once knew a girl
who would just stand there and stare.
At anyone or anything,
she seemed not to care
She'd stare at the ground,
She'd stare at the sky.
She'd stare at you for hours,
and you'd never know why.
But after winning the local staring contest,
she finally gave her eyes
a well-deserved rest.”
― Tim Burton
“One of the things that we were trying to do with this show was the complexities of relationships and love. There is both passion and longing and a bittersweet quality to it that is a part of life.'
--Tim Burton
Life Story Magazine”
“Movies are like an expensive form of therapy for me.”
Tim Burton
“I've always been more comfortable making my decisions from the subconscious level, or more emotionally, because I find it is more truthful to me, Intellectually, I don't think like that because I get uncomfortable. I'm more wary of my intellectual mind, of becoming delusional if I think of it too much.”
Tim Burton
“We all know interspecies romance is weird.”
Tim Burton
“People told me I couldn't kill Nicholson, so I cast him in two roles and killed him off twice.”
Tim Burton
“You don't know whether chimps are going to kill you or kiss you. They're very open on some levels and much more evil in a certain way.”
Tim Burton
“Jack Nicholson is a textbook actor who's very intuitive. He is absolutely brilliant at going as far as you can go, always pushing to the edge, but still making it seem real.”
Tim Burton
“One person's crazyness is another person's reality.”
Tim Burton
"People might say 'oh its too dark and scary' for children but you could say that about 'Nightmare before Christmas' also. People say their dog even liked watching 'Nightmare Before Christmas'. So this is for animals, children, whoever.”
Tim Burton
“Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But, that would be called canibalism. It is looked down upon in most societies.”
― Tim Burton, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“I am the shadow on the moon at night/Filling your dreams to the brim with fright.”
― Tim Burton
“But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets too close to her,
the pins stick further in.”
― Tim Burton
“Son, are you happy?
I don't mean to pry,
but do you dream of Heaven?
Have you ever wanted to die?”
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Half the fun is plan to plan”
― Tim Burton
“Staring Girl
I once knew a girl
who would just stand there and stare.
At anyone or anything,
she seemed not to care
She'd stare at the ground,
She'd stare at the sky.
She'd stare at you for hours,
and you'd never know why.
But after winning the local staring contest,
she finally gave her eyes
a well-deserved rest.”
― Tim Burton
“One of the things that we were trying to do with this show was the complexities of relationships and love. There is both passion and longing and a bittersweet quality to it that is a part of life.'
--Tim Burton
Life Story Magazine”
Friday, September 9, 2011
Night of the living, Night of the Dead
Kim Addonizio
03-14-08
Night of the Living, Night of the Dead
When the dead rise in movies they're hideous
and slow. They stagger uphill toward the farmhouse
like drunks headed home from the bar.
Maybe they only want to lie down inside
while some rooms spins around them, maybe that's why
they bang on the windows while the living
hammer up boards and count out shotgun shells.
The living have plans: to get to the pickup parked
in the yard, to drive like hell to the next town.
The dead with their leaky brains,
their dangling limbs and ruptured hearts,
are sick of all that. They'd rather stumble
blind through the field until they collide
with a tree, or fall through a doorway
like they're the door itself, sprung from its hinges
and slammed flat on the linoleum. That's the life
for a dead person: wham, wham, wham
until you forget your name, vour own stinking
face, the reason you jolted awake
in the first place. Why are you here,
whatever were you hoping as you lay
in your casket like a dumb clarinet?
You know better now. The soundtrack's depressing
and the living hate your guts. Come closer
and they'll show you how much. Wham, wham, wham,
you're killed again. Thank God this time
they're burning your body, thank God
it can't drag you around anymore
except in nightmares, late-night reruns
where you lift up the lid, and crawl out
once more, and start up the hill toward the house.
Amazing poem!!!
03-14-08
Night of the Living, Night of the Dead
When the dead rise in movies they're hideous
and slow. They stagger uphill toward the farmhouse
like drunks headed home from the bar.
Maybe they only want to lie down inside
while some rooms spins around them, maybe that's why
they bang on the windows while the living
hammer up boards and count out shotgun shells.
The living have plans: to get to the pickup parked
in the yard, to drive like hell to the next town.
The dead with their leaky brains,
their dangling limbs and ruptured hearts,
are sick of all that. They'd rather stumble
blind through the field until they collide
with a tree, or fall through a doorway
like they're the door itself, sprung from its hinges
and slammed flat on the linoleum. That's the life
for a dead person: wham, wham, wham
until you forget your name, vour own stinking
face, the reason you jolted awake
in the first place. Why are you here,
whatever were you hoping as you lay
in your casket like a dumb clarinet?
You know better now. The soundtrack's depressing
and the living hate your guts. Come closer
and they'll show you how much. Wham, wham, wham,
you're killed again. Thank God this time
they're burning your body, thank God
it can't drag you around anymore
except in nightmares, late-night reruns
where you lift up the lid, and crawl out
once more, and start up the hill toward the house.
Amazing poem!!!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Brave
"Brave"
Don't know just where I'm going
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming
And the air is cold
And I'm not the same anymore
I've been running in your direction
For to long now
I've lost my own reflection
And I can't look down
If you're not there to catch me when I fall.
If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave
All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light
When your life was daunting
But I can't see mine
When I feel as though you're pushing me away
Well who's to blame, are we making the right choices
Cause we can't be sure if we're hearing our own voices
As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay
If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave
And I might still cry
And I might still bleed
These thorns in my side
This heart on my sleeve
And lightening may strike
This ground at my feet
And I might still crash
But I still believe
This is the moment I stand here all alone
With everything I have inside, everything I own
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last time before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave
Another great artist Idina Menzel. this songs amazing
Don't know just where I'm going
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming
And the air is cold
And I'm not the same anymore
I've been running in your direction
For to long now
I've lost my own reflection
And I can't look down
If you're not there to catch me when I fall.
If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave
All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light
When your life was daunting
But I can't see mine
When I feel as though you're pushing me away
Well who's to blame, are we making the right choices
Cause we can't be sure if we're hearing our own voices
As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay
If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave
And I might still cry
And I might still bleed
These thorns in my side
This heart on my sleeve
And lightening may strike
This ground at my feet
And I might still crash
But I still believe
This is the moment I stand here all alone
With everything I have inside, everything I own
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last time before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave
Another great artist Idina Menzel. this songs amazing
positive quotes
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody but yourself—means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight—and never stop fighting.”
--e. e. cummings
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. ”
--Wendell Berry
“To be courageous requires no exceptional qualifications, no magic formula. It's an opportunity that sooner or later is presented to us all and each person must look for that courage in his own soul. ”
--John F. Kennedy
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. ”
--Henry David Thoreau
“We can choose to be affected by the world or we can choose to affect the world. ”
--Heidi Wills
“When it rains, most birds head for shelter; the Eagle is the only bird that, in order to avoid the rain, starts flying above the cloud.”
--Unknown
“We should cultivate the ability to say no to activities for which we have no time, no talent, and which we have no interest or real concern. If we learn to say no to many things, then we will be able to say yes to the things that matter most. ”
--Roy Blauss
“At the heart of each of us, whatever our imperfections, there exists a silent pulse of perfect rhythm, which is absolutely individual and unique, and yet which connects us to everything else.”
--George Leonard
“Life is better because you know more, not just because you have more.”
--Anonymous
“I haven’t a clue how my story will end, but that’s all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that’s when you discover the stars.”
--Nancy Willard
“Work and live to serve others, leave the world a little better than you found it and garner for yourself as much peace of mind as you can. This is happiness. ”
--David Sarnoff
“Be sure when you step, step with care and great tact. And remember that life's a great balancing act. And will you succeed? Yes! you will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed). Kid, you'll move mountains.”
--Theodor "Dr. Seuss" Geisel
“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in the quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”
--Mary Jean Irion
“Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.”
--Benjamin Disraeli
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
--Melody Beattie
“When being together is more important than what you do, you are with a friend.”
--Connie McMartin
“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ”
--Sir Francis Bacon
“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. ”
--Theodore Roosevelt
“Success is not just the crowning moment, the spiking of the ball in the end zone or the raising of the flag on the summit. It is the whole process of reaching for a goal and, sometimes, it begins with failure.”
--Erik Weihenmayer
“The mind determines what’s possible. The heart surpasses it. ”
--Pilar Coolinta
“My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.”
--Jim Henson
“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. ”
--Helen Keller
“It is not given us to live lives of undisrupted calm, boredom, and mediocrity. It is given us to be edge-dwellers.”
--Jay Deacon
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be. ”
--William Shakespeare
“Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”
--John Steinbeck
“This I know. This I believe with all my heart. If we want a free and peaceful world, if we want to make deserts bloom and man to grow to greater dignity as a human being we can do it!”
--Eleanor Roosevelt
“When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best.”
--Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. ”
--Ivan Panin
--e. e. cummings
“It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. ”
--Wendell Berry
“To be courageous requires no exceptional qualifications, no magic formula. It's an opportunity that sooner or later is presented to us all and each person must look for that courage in his own soul. ”
--John F. Kennedy
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. ”
--Henry David Thoreau
“We can choose to be affected by the world or we can choose to affect the world. ”
--Heidi Wills
“When it rains, most birds head for shelter; the Eagle is the only bird that, in order to avoid the rain, starts flying above the cloud.”
--Unknown
“We should cultivate the ability to say no to activities for which we have no time, no talent, and which we have no interest or real concern. If we learn to say no to many things, then we will be able to say yes to the things that matter most. ”
--Roy Blauss
“At the heart of each of us, whatever our imperfections, there exists a silent pulse of perfect rhythm, which is absolutely individual and unique, and yet which connects us to everything else.”
--George Leonard
“Life is better because you know more, not just because you have more.”
--Anonymous
“I haven’t a clue how my story will end, but that’s all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that’s when you discover the stars.”
--Nancy Willard
“Work and live to serve others, leave the world a little better than you found it and garner for yourself as much peace of mind as you can. This is happiness. ”
--David Sarnoff
“Be sure when you step, step with care and great tact. And remember that life's a great balancing act. And will you succeed? Yes! you will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed). Kid, you'll move mountains.”
--Theodor "Dr. Seuss" Geisel
“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in the quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”
--Mary Jean Irion
“Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.”
--Benjamin Disraeli
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
--Melody Beattie
“When being together is more important than what you do, you are with a friend.”
--Connie McMartin
“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ”
--Sir Francis Bacon
“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. ”
--Theodore Roosevelt
“Success is not just the crowning moment, the spiking of the ball in the end zone or the raising of the flag on the summit. It is the whole process of reaching for a goal and, sometimes, it begins with failure.”
--Erik Weihenmayer
“The mind determines what’s possible. The heart surpasses it. ”
--Pilar Coolinta
“My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.”
--Jim Henson
“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. ”
--Helen Keller
“It is not given us to live lives of undisrupted calm, boredom, and mediocrity. It is given us to be edge-dwellers.”
--Jay Deacon
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be. ”
--William Shakespeare
“Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”
--John Steinbeck
“This I know. This I believe with all my heart. If we want a free and peaceful world, if we want to make deserts bloom and man to grow to greater dignity as a human being we can do it!”
--Eleanor Roosevelt
“When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best.”
--Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. ”
--Ivan Panin
Take it all: by Adele
Didn't I give it all?
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less,
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?
Maybe you got too use to,
Having me around,
Still, how can you walk away,
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road,
Without me right here,
But go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
Maybe I should leave,
To help you see,
Nothing is better than this,
And this is everything we need,
So is it over?
Is this really it?
You're giving up so easily,
I thought you loved me more than this,
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
I will change if I must,
Slow it down and bring it home,
I will adjust,
Oh, if only,
If only you knew,
Everything I do,
Is for you,
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love.
This song was written by Adele. She is amazing.
This artist is so amazing she practically wrote how i've been feeling about people who have taken advantage of me in my life. I'm tired of looking ahead and seeing people move on while i'm stuck wallowing--and I know that is my problem I did that and I've got to reap what i have sown. <-- I don't know if thats how you spell--> anyways.. I guess its time for me to move on time to find other people who won't take advantage of me and my time....
Faith
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less,
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?
Maybe you got too use to,
Having me around,
Still, how can you walk away,
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road,
Without me right here,
But go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
Maybe I should leave,
To help you see,
Nothing is better than this,
And this is everything we need,
So is it over?
Is this really it?
You're giving up so easily,
I thought you loved me more than this,
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
I will change if I must,
Slow it down and bring it home,
I will adjust,
Oh, if only,
If only you knew,
Everything I do,
Is for you,
But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love.
This song was written by Adele. She is amazing.
This artist is so amazing she practically wrote how i've been feeling about people who have taken advantage of me in my life. I'm tired of looking ahead and seeing people move on while i'm stuck wallowing--and I know that is my problem I did that and I've got to reap what i have sown. <-- I don't know if thats how you spell--> anyways.. I guess its time for me to move on time to find other people who won't take advantage of me and my time....
Faith
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Randomness
We jump hoping to fly, and sometimes we are successful. We find ourselves soaring above the clouds so high and we feel like nothing can ever touch us. Then we fall, we fall hard and we look up towards sky with mixed feelings. Some look up with a positive outlook. They think that it was the best thing they ever did and they are ready for more. Others look up heartbroken wishing they never jumped. Wishing that they ‘d stayed on the ground. The rest have no idea what happened. They look up questioning and ignorant of their experience. For me, I still have no idea what think of it. Each summer I jumped into new chances and friends. But at the end it slammed in my face. It woke me up from my stupor. My imaginary thoughts of what could be were gone, and I realized that this island I was standing on was deserted and I was alone, again. The promises were broken just like my heart, and people I really cared about were gone.
I blame myself. I think I did something to make them not want to talk to me. They’re not here and I’m always alone. I hate them for having their life and their own friends. They post pictures, statuses, and so many other things and I sit alone thinking what the hell. Why can’t I have that? Then, I suppressed those thoughts because I knew they were selfish and wrong. I knew that if I continued to think like that what kind of friends would I deserve? So I closed up, I held everything in hoping, wishing and praying that it would all go away and God would make it better. Tomorrow is always a new day and people are different in every shade of light.
My last year in high school I forced myself to make new friends. I started to make friends with this guy. He was and still is a great guy and he was really there for me. He was the first guy I had started to really depend on. I must have been fucking crazy. He was my friend. But it didn’t last long, I guess I was holding onto him a little too tightly and we all know what happens when something like that happens, and when I let go he flew away.
I did find some great girls who became my best friend that year. I wish I had them before but I ‘m glad I found them when I did. I was able to become a good friend they’re still around I am blessed to know them. But they don’t take away the yeas of isolation and Loners Ville. I wish they could, and I wish I wasn’t affected by it. But I don’t care who you are if your social life consists of a computer and family and that’s it You will be affected by it You will be depressed and have issues in relationships. When abandoned—even if the person comes back years later—your affected by that. I know I am. I know that at the end of the day everyone will leave and I will be left alone. Maybe that’s why I can’t hold on to anyone maybe that is why every relationship I’ve ever had deteriorates to nothingness. And maybe that is why I have to believe there is God out there who loves me because then there is someone out there who will never leave me, or end up being pushed out because of my insecurities. I have to believe.
I blame myself. I think I did something to make them not want to talk to me. They’re not here and I’m always alone. I hate them for having their life and their own friends. They post pictures, statuses, and so many other things and I sit alone thinking what the hell. Why can’t I have that? Then, I suppressed those thoughts because I knew they were selfish and wrong. I knew that if I continued to think like that what kind of friends would I deserve? So I closed up, I held everything in hoping, wishing and praying that it would all go away and God would make it better. Tomorrow is always a new day and people are different in every shade of light.
My last year in high school I forced myself to make new friends. I started to make friends with this guy. He was and still is a great guy and he was really there for me. He was the first guy I had started to really depend on. I must have been fucking crazy. He was my friend. But it didn’t last long, I guess I was holding onto him a little too tightly and we all know what happens when something like that happens, and when I let go he flew away.
I did find some great girls who became my best friend that year. I wish I had them before but I ‘m glad I found them when I did. I was able to become a good friend they’re still around I am blessed to know them. But they don’t take away the yeas of isolation and Loners Ville. I wish they could, and I wish I wasn’t affected by it. But I don’t care who you are if your social life consists of a computer and family and that’s it You will be affected by it You will be depressed and have issues in relationships. When abandoned—even if the person comes back years later—your affected by that. I know I am. I know that at the end of the day everyone will leave and I will be left alone. Maybe that’s why I can’t hold on to anyone maybe that is why every relationship I’ve ever had deteriorates to nothingness. And maybe that is why I have to believe there is God out there who loves me because then there is someone out there who will never leave me, or end up being pushed out because of my insecurities. I have to believe.
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